Could a divorce coach help you?
The introduction of “No Fault Divorce’ in April 2022 was designed to simplify the process for all parties, but for some people, a divorce will always be a difficult process for them to navigate alone.
Here at Gullands, we frequently work with divorce coach Rebecca Bell who is appointed by one of the parties to help steer them through the process. She explains how she works with clients.
“Client’s often say to me “I feel overwhelmed, out of power, can’t move forward, very small, betrayed and humiliated”. These feelings, coupled with deep anxiety about the future, the legal process, the costs, can eat away at them. They may even end up unable to focus and feeling desperately sad.”
In my previous role as a family solicitor, I would notice that many cases were similar with similar assets and the cases would be treated the same way, but I don’t work with cases, I work with people. I believe every person is different and needs to be heard.
I listen to my clients without judgement or making assumptions. I let them speak so they know they have been understood. I attend meetings without judgement or bias.
Clients may find that other people close to them start asking about what is happening and they may not always want to retell the story over and over or feel the need to justify their decisions. Well-meaning people can sometimes put their own ‘spin’ on the situation and make observations based on their own experiences, and not my clients.
This can sometimes be deeply unhelpful to them. It’s ok not to take their advice. I create a safe space for my clients to talk freely and openly with someone who understands their situation deeply and who can make this difficult process more affordable and more bearable.
‘There is life after divorce!’
This is what one woman said to me as she flung her arms around me (we bumped into each other in a coffee shop - sometime after her divorce had been settled). She is right.
There certainly is life both during and after divorce. I can teach clients techniques to help them cope during the divorce to help them plan a happy life after it.
This helps them to cope and focus on the divorce only when they need to, and not all the time.”
Gullands’ Partner Julie Hobson comments: “I find it helpful to be able to work alongside a Divorce Coach like Rebecca. Separation is often an overwhelming time, and our team fully understand and appreciate that. Whilst the process of divorce has changed and become simpler, issues concerning children and the finances can often seem complex and like climbing a mountain. As a collaborative lawyer my focus is on helping the family to climb that mountain as painlessly as possible. Having a Divorce Coach in the background can often really help that process both practically and in dealing with emotions.
Anything that helps separating couples, particularly those with children, to reach that stage of “life after divorce” is welcomed by all the solicitors in our Family team.